PLEASE, let me know when it was, which room it was in, and who did what (if you can). I'll review the security footage, talk to the staff, and I WILL get back to you. I'm not going to promise that heads will roll... If you pulled out your impressively long thing and did the hellicopter, well they DID need to kick you out & thanks for the "exposure" we will get when I put it up on the web... But, if we screwed up, or missed the mark, I'll do what I reasonably can to make it up to you. Odds are you are young, I'm not. I see the clock running faster and faster every damn day. I try my best to respect other people's time by not wasting it if I can help it.
(And, of course, we both know I don't want/need something that could have been fixed to blow up on social media, giving my place a black-eye.) So, NO, I won't be posting your helicopter stunt on the web...
But, I SWEAR (Yelp/Twitter/Facebook/whatever I'm clueless about this week) isn't the main thing I'm worried about. We will do fine by them in the long-run. I want to walk into a place I own and see happy people. I want to be able to smoke a bowl with somebody I've never met, B.S. with them, and laugh. If my staff is screwing that up, I really wanna know.
THANKS FOR READING MY LONG-ASS RANT firstname.lastname@example.org
First: THANKS for giving us a try.
Second: SORRY you didn't get what you wanted out of your time. We really hope it wasn't a total waste.
So, we were not your cup of tea.
Have you tried these "flavors"?
THIS SITE IS INTENDED FOR PEOPLE 18 YEARS OF AGE AND OLDER ONLY. Continued viewing proclaims you are of age.
Sure, yeah, if you think so.
Look. I don't like pickles. Actually, I HATE pickles. It pisses me off when I take the time to say "no pickles" in the drive-through and dumb-ass-me bites into the burger without checking... I about gag, get pissed at them, at me (cuz I know better than not to check), and remain pissed for the next ten minutes or so.
My point? If I owned a burger joint, there still would be pickles on the menu because I realize other people like those nasty freaking things. (I loved them when I was young, but when I started to grow hair "down there" my taste-buds changed along with my voice...) So, you go ahead and enjoy them. Don't kiss me until you brush your damn teeth (and make sure my wife isn't around... Never mind, don't kiss me...)
Do I dislike YOU because you like pickles? No. I know there are many people out there that feel "if you don't think like me, like things with me, look like me, etc. then I don't like you." That is not how our family sees the world. If you are nice to us, we will be nice to you. Perhaps we can't share a full meal, go to the same movie, or go camping with each other, but we can still be friendly.
My point? Oh, yeah. (I'm old...) If you don't like our place, but we point you to a place you DO like, you might take the time to tell a friend about us anyway. Kinda about the $, but not totally or even mostly.
-I hope you find what you want from the day, and from life in general.